A Light Goes Out
by InLoveWithDraco13
Summary: Ron's mistake was leaving in the first place. H/Hr Deathly Hallows.


**Hello Readers,**

**It is viscously gloomy and rainy here and I'm feeling a little H/HR this evening, told through Ron's perspective, of course. Because I am evil. Enjoy!**

**M. x**

I fucked up. That's for certain.

But it wasn't really me— it was Riddle. He controlled me, forced me to see the worst. Every time they locked eyes, the blackness inside would consume me and force the cracks to widen and the monster of my subconscious would roar with dread.

When they were reading, preparing and studying, I saw flirtation, seduction and need. His hand would caress hers accidentally and she would bite her lip at him and smile—small nothings that I would have been oblivious to if not for the interference of the locket.

And when they patrolled together, stood together, _fought _together, I saw nothing but connection. I saw the meaningful compassion between them, the utter trust.

And green. I saw a lot of green. I was drowning in envy. It's fitting to describe the monster such as that:

Green.

Green-eyed.

Slytherin.

He was supposed to be one of them, he was…my _best_ mate—The hat told him so, more than once.

More importantly, he knew how I felt. He's not as clueless as he feigns to be.

He knew I wanted her, yearned for her, yet here we are. I can't believe I didn't see this coming. Had I really expected something different? A sob of anguish dies in my throat, I push it down, too consumed with self-loathing to notice the blood dripping from my clenched palms.

I wasn't going to return, no. How could I face them? When I let them see it all? My fear, my jealously, the insecurity I lived with for_ years_. His eyes had been unforgiving, finished. Hers pled desperately for me to take it all back. But I couldn't. I wouldn't.

So I left. And in one second I was gone. The one-second that meant I lost them and suddenly the horror of my thoughts seemed to evaporate. Riddle's control unraveled and I was free.

Free and alone. And I left them.

Together.

I cooled off, immediately realizing the momentum of my mistake.

I had just knocked off strike three of three.

One: I ostracized him when his name came out of that goblet.

Two: I screwed up massively with the whole Lavender nonsense.

Three:

I abandoned them in the middle of the woods, in the middle of a war. All because I couldn't control myself…

I knew I had to go back. The cold metal in my pocket was reminding me of the promises I made.

I flicked the switch, watching the ball of light from my room make its way out of a window and into the night. I followed, hoping for a miracle.

I know now that this supposed miracle is a curse, a horror that Dumbledore left, it seems, specifically for me.

I'm sure that old Sadist knew it would come to this. But I can't help but sink in despair as I realize this fate was sealed by me. I didn't find them soon enough.

My rashness came from the intense pain of living up to him and being smart and perfect enough for her.

And none of it really matters in the end.

I came back with foolish hope on this rainy, miserable night, wanting to repair the damage I inflicted with my spite, with Riddle's spite.

But the moment the light spread from my chest and into the lantern hanging above their secret, nestled away tent, I knew I'd never be warm again.

Their bodies melded together in the soft light as she whispered his name over and over again. He pressed his battle scars against her emotional wounds as they bled and hurt together, now they loved and endured together. They found strength in the loss of me. The two most incredible people I've ever known. It is too much.

I can't help but to wish them dead as my heart breaks for the last time.

I must let them go.

"I love you," he murmurs against her soft full lips I have only ever fantasied about.

"I love you," she whispers on a sigh, tangling her hands in his unruly hair. He returns the gesture as they hold one another close. Their eyes are closed, lost in the moment of their rapturous bliss. Riddle was right all along. Everything I fear has come to pass. Their salvation is my demise.

I click the deluminator once again incasing them in darkness. They haven't even noticed I'm here. My mind is breaking in sickness, my imagination taking hold as my hearing becomes keen to her whimpers of pleasure and his moans of need.

I turn away to retreat to a personal hell all of my own. My footsteps, now harsh and uncaring hurry on with a bleak sort of numbing. But the sound catches their attention, finally.

Their whispers caress me gently through the falling mist.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yes."

They pause. I hold my breath, willing them to find me, hoping against all else that they won't.

"I miss him, Harry."

"So do I."

It's too late.

I toss Dumbledore's gift aside and slip off through the incasing blackness of the night. There's no light left. Not for me.


End file.
